This opportunity I have through the DVRC to be taught how to do play therapy with her once a week for 30 minutes are awesome and should really help with all this. I have determined that I am not at all comfortable with her staying there more than a weekend. For the last couple of weeks Lexie (and I) have been having a lot of allergies. She gets nasally and snores, I sneeze and snore. So… When Patty called me the first day Lex spent at her Dad’s concerned that her throat was closed up, I assumed she was interpreting Lex’s allergies as something viral. I told her about the allergies and also gave her Dr. Miller’s phone and asked that they take her in if they were concerned. I mentioned liquid Ibuprofen for pain/fever. That was pretty much the last I heard of it. Then I told her that Lexie had told me about Gramma Betty and Frank fighting. I said that I didn’t want Lexie’s confiding in me to be jeopardize by telling Frank and Betty this, but could Patty somehow convey to them how badly this affect Lex and that ultimately she doesn’t want to go over there because of it. Then we got off the phone. Wednesday night I came in from walking Griffen to the phone ringing. I just missed the call but saw that it was Betty’s number. I called back to get a busy signal. I called again and it rang and rang for many minutes (no answering machine) I called Patty’s house (one house up the street) and left a message. She called me back and said that Frank and Betty were arguing again, that Betty just drove off, and that Frank had Lexie in his car (yes he finally got his license and somehow has a newish Ford Focus, even without a job) Then she said that they had pulled up in front of her house and could she call me back. When she called back, she even referred to them as the blind leading the blind. She made it really clear that she never ever wanted Frank to think that she had confided in me, but she was concerned that he had picked up an old habit, and asked that I talk to him and see what I thought. She said that me talking to him might calm him down. Yech, blech! So I call and Betty answers. I let her know that I heard they were arguing again, and she tells me that they left Lexie’s shoes at Coleen’s farm in Molala. My guess is that the argument broke out about not wanting to go back out there to get them, get new one’s and why could Rachel just drive another pair over (hence the call earlier). So it turns out that Betty went to the store to get her some more shoes. So she passed the phone to Frank and I was subjected to a half hour or more of painful conversation. The upshot is that he seemed about as reasonable as he ever was, and I am resolved to keep a close eye on his behavior I called Patty a couple days later and she said things looked much better, she said Frank had called to ask her what foods she thought Lexie might eat as he was concerned that she wasn’t eating enough. Primary Care giver, my ass! I gave her some suggestions.. It may well be that we end up back in court, because I have serious issues with his ability to care for Lex. As long as it’s only the weekend and Patty’s up the street, I feel ok, but here’s what happed when I picked up Lexie Sunday night. We went to McDonald’s with Lucas and Tracy. I could hear right away what Patty had mentioned a week ago and it was quite clear it was not allergies. We looked down her throat and her swollen tonsils were touching! (Later I spoke with Patty who told me that she tried and tried to persuade them to take her to the doctor but they wouldn’t do it). I was livid (still am pissed) I didn’t sleep as well as I should because I kept waking up to her having a hard time breathing. I scheduled a doctors appointment the next morning 9:15am. She has strep! She’s had it all week and they never took her in. Now Lucas will probably get it too! I called Betty on the way back to work and told her how upset I was. She tried to pass it off that Lexie would say she was fine. I told her that she is a child, they are adults and faced with hearing her breathing at night and her voice and seeing her throat, they should have made the decision, not left it up to her! No wonder Frank called asking about food Lexie would eat, how could it be comfortable to eat with those monster tonsils? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! So now she is on antibiotics, and I am grateful that she will only be with him for two days at a time. Yesterday, she told her Grammy that Grandma Betty’s house is a dump. She said it is because she doesn’t take care of it. Big sigh. Last night her Dad called and talked to her. I left the room and when she came out 10 minutes later, she had tears in her eyes and said she wanted Daddy to move back. I asked her if she understood that that wasn’t going to happen and she said yes. I asked her if someone had asked her to tell me this and she said her Daddy did. I said that now she had done what he asked, and we knew the answer was always going to be “no” that we could get on with the evening, maybe watch some My Little Pony or Sponge Bob.
Lexie and I are going to do our first play therapy session tonight. The biggest goal of this is to empower her not to take on the emotional issues that are flung at her at her Dad’s and to vent/express herself in child language…play!
And now on a lighter subject...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
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